Fit at Fifty

This post might get a little personal for some and will ramble a bit, just a warning. So, I'm going to be 50 at the end of July. 50. How the heck did that happen? For the past year, every time I've said to my mother, "well, I'm almost 50" she's said, "STOP THAT!" My life is more than half over, I'm sure. My years to this point have been spent as someone's daughter, someone's wife and most importantly, someone's mom. My husband and I met when we were in 7th grade - I was 12, he was 13. We started dating the summer between our freshman and sophomore years of high school and dated off and on through high school. We were married a little over 2 years after we graduated, I had just turned 20. We had our first child, T.J., 2 1/2 years later.

Parson the peeling trim paint. TJ's graduation, June 2003.

 

I've battled with my weight for a long time. When I was younger, I thought I was fat. There are a lot of reasons why I thought that and I won't get into that, but it's not something I spent any real time worrying about with my kids. They have always been active in one way or another and more importantly, happy. That's all Tim and I have ever wanted for them, to be happy. I was never huge, but I always had hips and thighs even when I was thin. I think I'd have been called "curvy".

After I turned 40 I noticed that the weight didn't come off quite so easily as it did when I was in my 20's and 30's. Three years ago I had a hysterectomy. I had a physical, I hadn't had one for a while, and was found to be quite anemic. Suffice it to say, I had every test known to man to try to figure out why. Ultimately, it was because I had fibroid tumors and a hysterectomy was required.

We don't generally look like deranged serial killers! It was a very cold, windy day.

Well, initially I lost weight as I was recovering from the surgery. I have THE most sedentary job on the planet - I sit in front of a computer 8, 9, 10 hours a day. I snack out of boredom. Hysterectomy + age + sedentary lifestyle = the heaviest I've ever been in my life. There's a whole list of other issues as well, but the biggest problem, one I've had for a good portion of my adult life but has gotten worse over the last few years has to do with the health of my gut. I have a stomach ache every. single. day. I have cramps and generally just don't feel well.

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I'm finally doing something about it. It may result in weight loss, it may not - but it's a start. I'm hoping that if I start to feel better, I'll become more active and the weight will start coming off. A week ago I started using the Arbonne Essentials 30 Day Feeling Fit Kit. The kit includes protein powders for shakes to be used for 2 meals a day as well as a detoxifying green tea and a few other items. This is all used along with a whole foods diet using organic foods and eliminating caffeine, alcohol, carbonated beverages, artificial sweeteners, refined sugar, dairy and gluten. Never in my life did I ever think I would attempt something like this and let me tell you - my husband is not a fan, but he's trying parts of it and only mocking me a little bit.

This is my favorite photo of our family session from the fall of 2010. Sums us up perfectly.

This is what I can report a week in - I haven't taken heartburn medication for the past week, I haven't had abdominal cramps (the kind that double you over, feel nauseous and cry), I haven't felt bloated and gassy (sorry), and most importantly - I've only had diarrhea (really sorry) once. You need to understand that cramps, diarrhea, stomach aches and just generally feeling crappy have defined me for the last few years. I'm taking control of what's left of my life because I'd like to eek out as many years as I can - I'm still waiting to be a Nana.......... I want the years I have left to be happy, healthy and whole. That's what I've always told my kids I want for them. It's time I have it for myself. So, I'm going to start getting to work at 7:30 and leave at 4; I'm going to do what I can while I'm there and to hell with the rest of it; I'm going to stop worrying about things I have no control over - if management doesn't care, I don't care; I'm going to start spending regular time in my studio; I'm going to add exercise back into my life; I'm going to continue to eat healthier - it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm going to start living my life, not just existing in it.

If you're still here and reading - thank you!